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By Todd Matson
Come on,
poker face, you
can do this. Get your
ducks in a row. Deny, dissociate,
suppress, project, compartmentalize, rationalize,
intellectualize. Just a few simple mental gymnastics. No, no,
no! Pain is breaking through. Can't have any pain.
Keep at it. Fortify those flood gates.
Dissociate first, then rationalize,
follow up with suppress.
No, project before you
suppress, then
deny and finish with
compartmentalize. No, no, no!
You have to remember to intellectualize.
Prime directive: no pain, no pain, no pain. Put all
of your energy into it. The pain will kill you. It leaches into
your consciousness like arsenic into the drinking water.
There should be plenty of resources in your
defense budget. If not, come up with
more. Forget infrastructure
for now. Let it go.
Without adequate defenses,
there will be no infrastructure – no life,
no vulnerability to protect, no joy, no peace. Stick
another finger in the dam. Duct tape your game face together.
Do it. Compartmentalize first, then suppress,
rationalize the hell out of it, then
project, deny, deny,
deny, dissociate,
and don't
forget to intellectualize.
Never forget to intellectualize.
You can't allow yourself to feel. Never
allow yourself to feel. Suck it up, soldier. Put some
dirt on it and move on. Prime directive: no pain, no pain, no pain.
About The Author:
Todd Matson is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in North Carolina, United States. His poetry has been published in The Journal of Pastoral Care and Counseling; Soul-Lit: A Journal of Spiritual Poetry; The Clayjar Review and Agape Review; Mindfull Magazine; and has been featured in Poetry for Mental Health. His short stories have been published in Ariel Chart International Literary Journal; Faith, Hope and Fiction; Literary Yard; Children, Churches and Daddies; and The Chamber Magazine.
He has also written lyrics for songs recorded by various contemporary Christian music artists, including Brent Lamb, Connie Scott and The Gaither Vocal Band, and he cowrote the lyrics for “When I Found You,” with Grammy Award winning contemporary Christian music artist, poet, and author, Gloria Gaither.